I was having a conversation with a friend about hate and what came out of my mouth sparked this article. I said to my friend “I’ve had many people do me wrong in my life and I’ve chosen not to hate them. Hate takes a lot of energy and steals MY peace. Sure, I don’t like them. But instead of hating them, I’ve decided that I just have no room for them in my life.”
Now, I’m going to be honest, this mindset has come with age and a lot of experience of people doing me wrong and also, me doing other people wrong. And it’s taken me many years to learn how to let the hate go that I had for other people and for myself. But I think I’ve finally mastered it…for now.
My thought is, “What’s the point of hating someone? You can’t do anything to change what they’ve done to you? So why waste your time, energy and peace hating someone?”
Now, I understand it’s easier said than done. Especially if someone did you really dirty. I’ve been done dirty, like real dirty, (here comes the vulnerability) like taken advantage of sexually, dirty. But when I realized that his actions had more to do with the battles he was fighting in himself and not the fact that I trusted a friend that I thought actually cared about me, I learned to set the hate and friendship aside, deal with my trauma, move on, and leave that person in the past with the hate that I had for them. And again, everyone is different and everyone’s situations are different but I’d like you to refer back to those questions.
Most of the time the hate stems from a disappointment in ourselves, letting our guard down, trusting people who maybe shouldn’t have been trusted. So, instead of focusing your hate on the person and the situation that took place, focus on your healing, grieving the situation and repairing whatever you need to repair in yourself to move on from the hate and the pain. It will only make you stronger and let's face it, if you believe in karma, you know what goes around comes around.
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