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  • Writer's pictureNicole Ogg

You made me want to become a mom.

This article is dedicated to my baby Haven Elizabeth, who turned 1 yesterday and to her mama, who has been stuck with me as a best friend/unbiological sister for the last 20+ years. (You’re welcome.)

To my best friend, Kelby, you made me want to become a mom.

For those of you who know me well, you know that having kids has never been a dream of mine. I love my friends’ kids but having my own wasn’t something that I felt like I wanted or was equipped for. I was never interested in kids while growing up, I never wanted to babysit to earn some extra cash, some women dream of becoming a mom and I was not one of those women. Or so I thought.

And I really didn’t want kids until I saw my best friend hold her baby for the first time. I remember sobbing when I saw the first pictures that Isaac (Kelby’s husband) sent to me and Katie (the other third of our trio). The look on Kelby’s face, the happiness, the exhaustion from labor and pushing, but the pure glow of motherhood is what made me the most envious. April 19th, 2021 changed Kelby and Isaac’s life, but it also changed mine.

Most of my best friends have kids now and I love them all like they are my own. I would literally do anything for those babies. I was there before their pregnancies and after their births and have watched them all blossom into amazing mothers and personality filled babies and young humans. But something about seeing Kelby become a mom changed my wants. Maybe it’s age, or the fact that all my friends are having kids, or maybe it’s because of the growth that I have done within myself. Because of the hard work that I’ve done and continue to do with my mental health, I no longer feel as if I will screw up my kid(s) if/when I’m blessed enough to have my own. I know that I can learn the skills needed to be a good mom and raise a respectful daughter or son. And I also know that I embody the motherly instincts that women possess, which I had doubted in the past.

I obviously don’t know what it’s like to be a mom, to experience the good and bad of pregnancy, to endure the pain of a natural birth or a c-section, to fight the hormonal changes, the postpartum depression, adjusting to a different life at home with your baby and your spouse or just yourself if you’re doing it alone, adjusting to multiple kids, being a working mom or a stay at home mom, fighting the constant battle of “what is the right way to raise my baby?”, miscarriages, and of course, the battle with your body and body image. But I do know that every woman who has gone through any or all of the things above, whether you believe it or not, is the definition of what a strong woman and mother is. They have shown pure fucking strength mentally, physically and emotionally and I’m so envious of their experiences. And how wonderful it is that every experience is different.

This first year of Haven’s life has proved to be nothing short of amazing. It has been full of strength, growth, learning, sacrificing, struggling, happiness, laughter, sadness, tears, and a million other emotions that I know Kelby has felt. But nevertheless, she prevails. My best friend has a baby girl that she gets to nourish and nurture through this crazy life and I’m so excited that I get to be along for the journey. I have watched Kelby grow through many stages of life, through very good times and very bad times, I’ve watched her struggle and I’ve watched her rise above the ashes. She is so strong and I have no doubt that Haven will have the same strength that her mama, and her dad, possess. This stage of life that we are going through together is definitely my favorite. Motherhood and Kelby go hand in hand, and I couldn’t be more proud of her.

While this article is dedicated to Kelby and Haven, I want all my best friends and their babies to know that I am so proud of their strength, sacrifices, pain and growth and I’m so fucking blessed to have each of you in my life. One of my favorite titles is Aunt Nicole, even though my nieces and nephews are not blood related, and I hope they will always know the love that I have for them and their mamas.


Your best friend and Haven’s Aunt Nicole

Pictured above: Katie, Kelby, Haven and myself on Valentine’s Day weekend 2022.

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